Counterpush

A few people who have come across the band’s music and explored the lyrics have picked up on the “spiritual” aspect and have often asked about it.  While I make no attempts to carry the banner for any particular set of religious beliefs, I cannot deny who I am or from where I come.  So, to help shed some light, I thought I’d share a recent episode I had with my eldest sister this past Easter.

“Hell is full of good intentions or desires.”
- St. Bernard of Clarivaux

A few weeks ago, just toward the tail end of the Lenten season, my sister came by to visit and share a recent experience she had.  She is a devout Catholic and is very active within her church.  Aside from singing in her church choir, she periodically attends events in which her church is involved.  One such event was a youth retreat in which several “tweens”+ gathered to share their experiences of being a young Catholic in today’s culture.  Clearly, my sister was inspired to see young people speaking so passionately of their beliefs. 

As everyone was getting drunk on the word of God and passing the cup to his neighbor, my sister found the opportunity to do what I consider to be one of the kindest things a person can do for another, and simulaneously managed to drive a stake through my heart.

“I said a prayer for the men in our family last night.  I prayed that you, Dad, and [our brother-in-law] would develop a closer relationship with God.”

Saying a prayer for someone, in my opinion, is the ultimate way of showing them that you care.  It’s a way of saying, “You’re in my thoughts, I’m pulling for you, and I only wish you the best.”  So how can anyone ever be offended by such an act of kindess?

It’s not rare to come across a person who was born and raised in the Roman Catholic tradition, attended mass regularly as a child, but somehow grew apart from the church. In many cases, they may have even attended Catholic school, and though they haven’t attended mass in several years (aside from the occasional wedding or funeral), they still consider themselves to be part of the Catholic community. Admittedly, I am one of these people…

I was raised in the Catholic church, attended Catholic school for 6 years, and by many accounts was considered a very devout Catholic. When I was old enough to drive, I was going to church on my own without being urged by my parents. I was definitely of my own mind when it came to my religious beliefs.

Those strong beliefs carried into my college years, and for a fleeting moment I even considered entering into the priesthood. But it was in college that I started to really ask questions about my faith, the Catholic church and the Judeo-Christian Tradition. It was not long before I found myself engulfed in new ideas, challenges, and criticisms, all of which seemed to excite me and draw me deeper into the subject matter. In a few years, I would graduate with a Master’s degree in Philosophy with a concentration on the Philosophy of Religion and Continental Philosophy.

Ironically, at a time when I felt that I was gaining a better understanding of God, man’s existence and the Catholic church, I was also finding myself being drawn away from the need to “clock in” at mass every Sunday and go through the same old rituals that had somehow become stale and redundant. Keep in mind that I mean no disrespect to the belief in transubstantiation or the Eucharist. But I couldn’t help thinking that the people who go through the motions every week, clocking in every Sunday to receive communion in hopes to earn their way to heaven, were somehow missing the point.

So after heading out on this trek to find my own personal answers, and putting much thought into the the role of religion and its impact on the human condition, I found it somewhat offensive that my sister would approach me in such a manner. Apparently, to her, one cannot have a close relationship with God unless he attends church every Sunday. Otherwise, by what criterion is she judging me in order to come to the conclusion that I do not already have a close relationship with God? To make such an assumtion was to completely disregard everything that I had done and simply dismiss it as an insignificant phase in my life in which I may have just strayed from my original path. Clearly, she didn’t realize that in order for someone to delve so deeply into the issues and ask the tough questions, he must first have a genuine passion or desire to know.

So there you have it. A glimpse into where I am coming from with regards to the spiritual aspect of my lyrics. And while I consider The Innocence Mission a great band, I do not wish to be pigeonholed as a religious songwriter, but rather, a songwriter who happens to be a Catholic. And a damn good one at that…